Shame free

As a planned parenthood volunteer, and abortion advocate, the decision to abort was swift. I had my appointment booked within minutes of peeing on a stick. As many women as I had ushered in and out of their appointments, I never imagined I would one day join them. I leaned on their strength, to find my own. In that moment I was so grateful to have had that life experience, so I could know, on a molecular level, that there was nothing shameful about my choice. That it was MINE to make. Every ounce of my being knew “this isn’t the one for me”, and I was lucky enough to be able to make that choice. I live in TN, and that very clinic I aborted in, will no longer offer the service in a very short time. The decision that saved my future, will not be available to other women just like me. Even in states where it is available, I scraped the money together but what about the women that can’t? My heart breaks for them all. I’m not a teenager, I’m not “too young” to be a mother, but it was NOT my time. For a million reasons. I’m not the typical abortion story people think of, and yet truthfully, I AM the typical abortion story we just don’t hear enough about. I had to wait weeks for my pill, I wore sweats every day, I withdrew from my life completely. Waiting was painful, and torturous, and much harder than the abortion itself. I didn’t feel like myself, I felt like I had a dirty little secret at all times, I felt shame. I can report from the other side now, and my shame is gone. My relief is immense. My future is bright. I am happy, healthy, and thriving with my second chance at the life I want. I’m grateful for my sisters, grateful I had a choice, and more driven then ever to fight for every woman’s right to have one too. Shame free.