The pandemic came with a lot of difficulties, but it also came with a lot of good things. One of those things was my long distance boyfriend was able to come home and be with me. We spent so much time together it was great!
Fast forward 4 weeks and I was feeling sick and tired all the time. I starting putting on weight and assumed my period was coming. I took a pregnancy test to just make sure and lo and behold I was pregnant. I had a full blown panic attack on the toilet. In that moment I knew I could not have this child. His father lived across the country and I was worried I wouldn’t have the support at home.
I ended up going to a pro life pregnancy clinic where they gave me a free ultra sound and talked to me. Overall they were very nice and helpful. They help educate me about my options. Even after that I knew I couldn’t keep my child.
I scheduled an appointment for a medical abortion at my local planned parenthood the next day.
I pulled up to PP and I parked a few blocks away so no one could see I was there. The humiliation that I had felt was unbearable. I swore up and down that I would never have an abortion, but here I was in the planned parenthood waiting room waiting for my name to be called.
They sent me home with the medication I took and bleed but that is not where my story ends.
5 weeks later my pregnancy tests were still positive and I was still bleeding a ton. I called PP and they scheduled an appointment for me immediately.
I went in and they gave me an ultrasound. I still had pregnancy tissue left over and I decided to get it surgically removed.
Having a medical abortion was easy. I was home and my boyfriend was there to rub my back and make me food. But I was alone in the pp ultrasound room wrapping my brain around the fact I had to get the tissue surgically removed.
I could not stop crying. I was alone and terrified. I was taken back and prepared for surgery. A nurse grabbed me.
This nurse was the nicest woman I have ever met. She made me feel like I wasn’t alone. She reminded me that 1/4 woman have this procedure and it was the most common surgery in the US. She also reminded me that almost every nurse and doctor that worked there at one point had their feet in these stir ups . They knew exactly what I was going through. She reminded me that this was a safe place and my health was the number one priority.
I proceeded with the surgical abortion and cried but I took it like a champ and I am proud of myself. The nurses held my hands and let me scream. When it was over I asked the doctor if I could still have children. And she responded “of course and you will do it when the time is right”
I later found out the left over fetal tissue hardened and could’ve done a lot more damage if not taken out.
I am so thankful. I’m thankful to the nurses and the doctors. I’m thankful that my state allows me to make a choice. I’m thankful that I can live my life. I was pro life but now I know that it is extremely important that abortion remain legal for the person who was alone like me. That person deserves a right to life.
I love my baby. The pregnancy is with me always just in a different form. It is now my responsibility to take care of me for my future husband, for my future kids, and for myself.
