I was born into a strict Christian home. I remember one time my parents found out I was having sex as a teenager and my parents asked me, “what would you do if you got pregnant?! What would you do???”. It was an easy answer for me at that time I said, “get an abortion.” My parents were mortified.

I didn’t actually get pregnant until I was 22 years old and at the time, I was ecstatic. I went on to have another baby when I was 25 and another at 26. All three of my babies were C-section babies. I did have complications throughout my pregnancies. I had preeclampsia and gestational diabetes with my first and 4 days after I delivered, I had an Afib attack out of nowhere. Thankfully, I fully recovered and haven’t had an Afib attack again since. I did have gestational diabetes again with my second and third pregnancy.

C-sections are hard to recover from in my experience. Each time had been harder than the last. I had lots of adhesions that make my last c section more complicated. That third C-section was just 4 months short ago to todays date. I found out I was pregnant again about a month ago. I remember my OBGYN saying after I delivered, “absolutely NO babies for at least 18 months”.

We had unprotected sex and went right to the store after to get the plan B. I took it immediately. My periods were still out of whack because I had just recently given birth. I assumed I had already ovulated as my period predictor calendar said it was most likely I had my ovulation a week before. I still wanted to get the pill just in case. The next day I woke up and had a LOT of Fertile CM. At that time I started to panic a little, wondering if it would even work. I knew timing was everything when it comes to taking plan B. Days went by and I was 3 days late for my period. Assuming it was just from the pill, It eased my mind just a bit. I still made my fiancé go get me pregnancy tests.  I took them and immediately saw two pink lines. I then took the second test. Same thing. My whole world shook. All I was thinking was, “I can’t be pregnant again! I JUST had a baby! I can’t do this.”

I immediately went and showed my fiancé the positive test and then I broke down crying. I knew it was too early for me to be pregnant again. Especially after just having my third C-section. Initially, we both decided I needed to get an abortion ASAP. I called around frantically trying to find someone to see me the next day. Everywhere I called told me I was “too early” and they wouldn’t even see me until I was 6 weeks pregnant. I wanted to just get this over with more than anything. I went ahead and scheduled an appointment with the closest planned parenthood around, which is two hours away. My appointment was scheduled for two weeks out.

I was extremely upset finding out that I would have to have an ultrasound and not even be able to get the abortion pills the same day. I have three kids, that’s not something I can just do. I stay at home and watch them so that was stressing me out even more. It all stressed me out so much. I didn’t want to see the ultrasound. Even if I didn’t have to look, I just didn’t want one.

After doing a LOT of research online, I found out that a neighboring state did telabortion. All I had to do was make an appointment, listen to their script and make sure to be in that state at the time of my appointment. This was all so overwhelming for me. In my adult years I really didn’t believe in abortion. My faith made it seem wrong and I didn’t know If I could live with myself If I went through with it. I changed my mind on going through with this abortion more times than I could count.

I ended up canceling my appointment they had scheduled for the following Tuesday. After contemplating more and more and doing more research about the possibilities of something going wrong, I finally made my decision and I rescheduled my appointment. This took place actually only a few days ago, this past Tuesday. I drove to a neighboring state, sat in a parking lot at a Mc.Donald’s and had my appointment within 30 minutes. No ultrasound needed, I paid $375 and they shipped out my medicine the same day. Today, Thursday, I took the first dose of medicine. It took me several minutes of holding it in my hand and crying before I even put it in my mouth to swallow it. I was sad because if I felt like I was healthy and healed enough I would have kept the pregnancy. I didn’t really want to have an abortion but knowing there was a big possibility with something going wrong made my decision solid. I have three other children, what would they do without me?

After taking the pill I was still upset for about 30 minutes. Lots of crying. I am so thankful to have the support of my fiancé, he has helped me a lot. Surprisingly, After 30 minutes, I started feeling relieved. I did it. The only thing I need to do is take the second medicine here in about 12 hours to complete the abortion.

My parents wouldn’t have understood, no matter what. It’s not something I am ever going to tell them. I’m thankful to have the support of my fiancé and friend to get me through this. Of course, I have the support of God with me too. Even if that sounds contradictory to my religion. It has been a roller coaster of emotions the past month but I not have a sense of relief and do not regret it. I wanted to share my story in case of anyone else in this situation or is still contemplating what to do. Follow your heart. You know what is best for you!