I’ve had 2 abortions, and then I was — apparently lucky enough to find someone who would do a tubal ligation. That was the proudest decision I ever made, at 39 years old. I never knew what sex could be like, how absolutely fucking fantastic, what I was missing for decades — until I had my tubes tied. And I only had my tubes tied because my 2nd abortion resulted in so much awful pain for months, afterward, that I needed further surgery, anyway.
Abortion was a “no brainer” choice for me in both cases, because I didnt want the child of the men who impregnated me. It never occurred to me that it was my child, too. That is one thing I regret, that I didnt consider, but I dont know that that would have changed my decision. To live in a country (US) that has such disdain for women, children, and pregnancy, would mean it would be a no-brainer anyway — I just get more sad when i realize i killed my children, not just those of the men who impregnated me. And i’m just fine with using the word “kill” — i dont know when life begins. But as long as it’s attached to my body, i have the right, and privilege, of protecting myself, putting my interests first, and if that means killing it, then that’s what it means — just matter of fact.
Here’s another part of my story: next time someone asks you (a woman) if you have any children, and you dont, say: “Not that i know of (wink wink)… ” I refuse to accept an answer from any man who says he knows how many children he has — unless he personally saw every single woman he ever had sex with, about 8 months later and saw that she was not pregnant. That means that about 99% of men have no clue if they have children. Tell them that. Tell them that next time they tell you how many, or few, kids they have. And when they ask you, how many you have, tell them whatever number is the truth… “that i know of” (wink wink). Fuck them. Watch the confused, befuddled look on their face, and just fuckin’ smirk at how damn stupid they are. Look at them and think, they had better be damned good at making you happy in the sack, because their brains are not what you want from them. (We have women, for that.)
