I was 20 years old when I found out I was pregnant. My first reaction was me being scared. I had been having unprotected sex but being young and dumb I didn’t really believe it would happen to me. The guy I was with at the time for about 9 months really wanted to keep it but just before that I had found out he was texting other girls so I was leaning more towards getting an abortion because I wasn’t sure about our relationship and I didn’t want to be one of those moms that have kids by different guys, not that there’s anything wrong with that I just didn’t think I could do it alone.

I was very afraid to tell my mom because she did not like the guy I was talking to and I knew she would be very upset about it. The guy I was with kept saying that we simply do not tell her. I guess because he knew if I did she would talk me out of it. So eventually I got the courage and I sent her a text saying that I was not sure what to do. She called me and seemed upset and was telling me that she had a feeling I had something going on but wasn’t sure what. She began telling me about how if I have a child I am going to put on a lot of weight and my body will never be the same. These things scared me and eventually I decided to get rid of it. Honestly it wasn’t just her though I had already been leaning more towards that decision anyways.

So when the day eventually came I arrived at the clinic. I was pretty nervous but tried to stay calm. When the lady took me in the back to do the ultrasound she told me she could not see anything in my uterus. They knew for sure I was pregnant because they did the blood tests and all that but they could not see anything which was strange. They came to the conclusion that it was most likely an ectopic pregnancy and that they would have to send me home and I would have to come back another day to have it either surgically removed or until they could determine a better strategy.

So I went home and within that next week I was at work and I began bleeding. I was having some cramping and it was hurting pretty bad so I called my boss to let her know I had to go home which she told me to go ahead. As I’m walking to my car I’m on the phone with my mom and she tells me to try and eat something and maybe that will make me feel better so I go to Wendy’s to get some chicken nuggets and the whole time I was in line I remember being in a lot of pain. I couldn’t pull out of line though because they had a barrier so you couldn’t just leave so I’m just sitting there hunched over trying to hurry. Eventually when I leave I try to eat but I was unable to due to the pain.

When I got home which was about 10 minutes later I run straight to the bathroom. As soon as I sit down I just release a bunch of blood. It was honestly a huge relief and after that I really didn’t have any more pain. I got my heating pad and sat down on the couch and didn’t feel anymore pain. I had just had a miscarriage.

The second time I got pregnant was a few months later. And it happened pretty much the same way except this time I decided not to tell my mom because I knew she would make me get on birth control and also I just didn’t want to get her upset for no reason when I knew what had to be done anyways. So I get to the clinic and I decided to have the medical abortion which means you will be taking a pill. They give you a whole bunch of pain pills along with the abortion pills. If I remember correctly they give you one that day to take and the next one you will have to take it the next day. You could either take it by mouth to insert it in your vagina but I decided to take it by mouth.

If you take the pill by mouth you will also have to take an anti nausea pill which honestly did nothing for me because as soon as I dissolved the second pill I literally threw up all over the floor. Honesty the pain was very severe I got up and went to the bathroom to try and push it all out like I had done last time but it was slower this time I guess. I remember crying on the bathroom floor not knowing if feeling this pain was normal or if something had gone very wrong. I kept drinking cold water because I just remember sweating really badly from the pain. After about 30 minutes to an hour the pain began to subside so I made my way to my bed and tried to go to sleep with my heating pad. The next thing I remember is waking up with no pain but my boyfriend at the time had just gotten home so he had to clean up all the throw up that was on the floor. Poor guy lol

But after that everything was over I didn’t feel anymore pain and I was relieved for me to be through it.