My Dance with the Devil & the “Abominations” that Saved Me

by Alexandra

January 12, 2022

Content Warning: rape, physical & psychological abuse

On July 18, 2018 I suffered bilateral, cerebellar strokes as a result of domestic violence.

At the time, I was 24 years old.

I’m now 27 years old. I am a survivor.

For nearly three years I was the victim of a disturbingly abusive relationship.

Early in this relationship, in 2015, a rape related pregnancy (RRP) occurred which resulted in an abortion & unfortunately deeply trauma bonded me to my abuser.

I was saved when the relationship ended while I was hospitalized for brain injuries in July 2018.

Among other methods, this predator used spiritual, physical, and psychological abuse & reproductive coercion to manipulate me for years following the pregnancy termination.

Subsequent to our breakup, during a legal exchange of personal belongings, nearly two years worth of my prescription birth control (that my abuser had restricted access to) was brazenly returned to me.

Thanks to Planned Parenthood, I was able to break a sinister cycle & prevented myself from birthing the innocent seed of a monster into a life with an abusive & negligent father.

I am alive & recovering beautifully, without the dangerous attachment of a child fathered by my rapist.

I am alive because my reproductive rights were protected and I had essential access to safe & legal abortion.

Additionally, on January 6, 2021 (among other important events) I had a birth control device implanted into my arm.

The peace of mind I get from having my autonomy secured & respecting the duality of life, especially as a survivor with cPTSD, is truly a blessing.

Thank you to programs like Planned Parenthood for protecting a reality that allows me to create a future where I intentionally, safely & lovingly bring life into this world with my soulmate, Daniel.

Pro-choice is pro-life!

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!