It Was My Choice

by Robin

August 7, 2017

It’s been almost 20 years since I had my abortion, and I am now a mother of four daughters. I still can’t help but stop and think every so often how messed up my life would of been if I hadn’t had an abortion. Once I knew I was pregnant there wasn’t a single doubt or question about the choice I wanted to make. Even when the counselor I spoke with beforehand awkwardly paused to say, “have you considered keeping it?” She made me feel more steadfast in my choice. I think I actually laughed at her; of course I hadn’t considered keeping it! That’s why I was there; passing through chain link guarded gates to enter.

The surgical procedure was uneventful other than unpleasant suction noises and a freezing cold room. I had bad luck though, they didn’t get it all. Three days later when I tried to return to work and couldn’t even stand from the pain I knew something was wrong. Even then, I didn’t waver in my choice. The three day hospital stay when I was uninsured was bearable too thanks to my local hospital’s charity care. What was awful…the absolute worst thing about it all? The pity…from the people in my life who knew, felt sorry for me, and under their breaths judged me. I imagine their thoughts were something like, “well, if she hadn’t had an abortion in the first place she wouldn’t be in this situation.” I had such anger towards them. How dare they judge my choice. I knew what I was getting into, I was accepting the consequences; it was my choice.

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