“I realized that there are so many different reasons why a woman would choose to end her pregnancy.”

I have wanted to be a mother ever since I was 8 years old. And so, at 32, my husband and I tried and conceived. We were having a boy! We were elated. What adventures stood on the horizon! Sadly, at the 20 week ultrasound, we learned that our baby had a lethal health issue. Based on the advice of doctors, we chose to end the pregnancy. Despite being pro-choice, it never occurred to me that a medical termination was the same thing as an abortion. I only realized that a medical termination was taboo when our obstetrician told us that she didn’t do terminations and we would have to seek support elsewhere. I realized that there are so many different reasons why a woman would choose to end her pregnancy. I also came to loathe the idea of “pro-life”, as if my choice were in opposition to life; I made a humane choice. I also dislike the term pro-choice as I didn’t really feel that I had a choice to make. I wanted my son but I knew that he would not survive outside of the womb and would surely die a painful death. I made a brave but sad choice. It has been the most painful experience of my life. The physical pain of a second trimester D&E is absolutely nothing compared to the emotional pain. And yet, I did what I had to do as a mother.