The first time, I was 18, a freshman in collegem and in a relationship where he assumed I had taken birth control, and I was too intimidated to speak up. We had unprotected sex for several months. He graduated and entered the Navy, leaving for Hawaii. I spent my summer working while staying with my dad in another state, realized I was pregnant, and waited until I returned to school to get an abortion because I was too embarrassed to admit my situation to my dad. My best friend went with me. I never told the boyfriend.
Cut to three years later and a first date with a guy I’d had a crush on for months. We had a great time…and drank a lot. We had unprotected sex one time. I ended up pregnant again at 21, still in college. I had an abortion. He went with me and helped me to pay for it, and ultimately, we were married and had two amazing daughters. They are now 31 and 28.
I have always regretted my carelessness and inability to advocate for myself when I was younger. I should have been able to say “wait.” I should have been confident enough to visit our school clinic and get on birth control, or insist we used a condom. As much as I regret my mistakes, I have never regretted my decision to have abortions at a time in my life when I was ill prepared to support and raise a child. If I had not, my life would have been completely different and the children I ultimately did bring into the world would not exist.
