The year of all years… 2020. I had my absolute highest highs and lowest lows. My husband and I didn’t want children for a few years, but failed contraception (2 different kinds used) led us to the hardest decision of our lives. We prayed. Meditated. Anguished. Journaled. Prayed some more. We felt at peace with our decision and soon went through with it. But no matter what it was incredibly hard.
Around a month later, I was pregnant again. We followed all precautions once again VERY thoroughly (2 kinds of contraception). I miscarried very very early. I felt so numb. My husband was incredible through both circumstances. Still is.
I’m in counseling now and healing is starting to feel a little like freedom or a flower budding. Finally. I’ve grown and learned so much that it feels like I went through this years ago. I feel at home in my body more and more every day. If you’re reading this and you are a religious person, I just want to say God still loves you even after you’ve made this decision. Instead of the constant single issue stances of pro-life, how about actually researching the topic? Loving the woman. God loves the woman and cares for her future. How about speaking about the redemption process afterwards? Most who scream “pro life!” do not know much about what that should mean. The woman’s life. I feel silenced. Someday I’d love to meet those who have faced this and use my story. I’m just not there yet.
Sending virtual hugs. Bloom, flower!
