I don’t regret my decision but I will love and never forget my child

by Anonymous

March 15, 2021

I could honestly say that this has been one of the most hardest procedures I have had to do, considering I was so sure on my decision. I was on the birth control pill and the pregnancy was a shock to both me and my partner for 6 months. I carried on taking the birth control pill, until I realised I was consistently feeling sick and being put off my certain foods.

This then rang alarm bells, as i started to realise what if? I went to the pharmacy and was strong enough to purchase a pregnancy test, and that was when I found out. I burst into tears, I couldn’t understand if it was happy tears because I could have a child or if it was tears because I wasn’t sure how many weeks and I knew I had to have an abortion. I was lucky enough to tell my boyfriend and he was supportive as we were both on the same page, but unlucky enough not to be able to have my close friends or family next to me; because I was too scared and ashamed to mention it.

I was always so against having an abortion, but no one really knows until you go through it yourself. I went to the clinic to find out how many weeks I was and the nurse stated that I was 7 weeks and 6 days. that was when everything felt so real. I did not expect it to be so far gone.

Even though I knew I had to have an abortion as I am a third year university student, I still felt very responsible for my child and I was happy that there was a part of me inside me that I knew no matter what would one day always love me.

Procedure day 

I have never been so scared and lonely, the waiting was not the hard bit. The minute the nurse called me inside and I had to get changed I could not help myself but cried though out the whole sedation. I was lucky to have such helpful nurses.

I was 10 weeks and 1 day when I had my abortion and it scared me knowing my baby was growing. BUT I never regretted my decision. It was something that I was certain on. I can forgive my self and wish god can too.

Anyone else going through the same situation, it is okay to be scared, nervous and lonely. But just remember that I had my abortion, yet I will never forget it and will always love my child. This is a secret between me and my partner.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!