by Anonymous

January 4, 2022

Content Warning: rape

I was 33, staying at a friend’s house in Arizona (I’m from NYC). That morning, I woke up. When I realized what was happening, I froze. At the time, I felt deep confusion and remorse and guilt for not fighting back. (Why is my fight or flight response to freeze?) The same day, I left Arizona knowing I was pregnant. I did not hesitate: abortion was an immediate next step for my health and safety. I called my friend who I knew had an abortion in the past and connected with the clinic they went to. Within 3 weeks, I was freed from a heavy psychological weight of hosting an embryo from non consensual sex. The clinic back in nyc was supportive and a healthy space for me close my pregnancy. My bestie came with me and helped me get home. I framed the Ultrasound image to remind myself that my body is a miracle. My only regret is not taking more time off of work to heal emotionally and spiritually from being r*ped. I wish I had taken time to go to therapy and thank myself for doing what was right for me.

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