I just came home from having my abortion 15 minutes ago with my ex boyfriend and the first thing I am doing is telling my story.
About a couple of months ago, my now ex boyfriend and I just started dating. He isn’t the typical kind of guy I usually go especially after he finding out that he has two young sons (I’m 26 and he’s 27). But just like any other beginning of the relationship, he was really sweet, caring, loving, charming and we talked about being together in the long haul. Long before I know it, I was stuck in a cycle. We made memories as we travelled to different countries and cities during our relationship.
The relationship was good until it wasn’t.
I decided to end things with him because I know this relationship wasn’t going anywhere but we know we still love each other and hence we would still see each other.
I have the copper IUD so I wasn’t so worried about getting pregnant. My period comes regularly, so when this month came around and I didn’t get my period, I started to worry. Two days ago, I went to the closest pharmacy and decided to take a test. I couldn’t believe that it says positive, the doctors told me that IUD is the most efficient contraceptive out there.
I was in panic, scared. There was no other choice but to terminate the pregnancy that’s for sure. I was in no place to bring a person into this world especially with the type of job (flight stewardess) I am always away, and I have no family that would take care of this baby. My ex boyfriend is still finding his own way in his life, especially when he recently just got laid off his job, got into a minor car accident that left him with no car until dues are paid, and custody battle with his baby mama. I can see that he is a very good father to his two other sons but there’s no way he is ready for another child.
Those two days leading up to the procedure I would say was the hardest. My ex boyfriend have been staying over everyday to keep me company and to make sure that I am not having anxiety attacks. I was on my phone reading all the articles I could find on Google in regards to abortion. How did other people before me felt about it a couple of years down the road? Do they feel guilty after all the years passed? Did they took it hard? What are the statistics? During my crazy abortion search on Google is how I encountered this site. There was a specific entry with the title ” I had an abortion and I lived happily ever after” by an anonymous writer. Whoever you are, if you do get the chance to read this, I want to say Thank you. That entry made me realize that yes, I am in a bad situation right now, and that I shouldn’t really beat myself up over what had happened. It’s not like I wasn’t using a contraceptive, HECK I WAS using APPARENTLY the most EFFECTIVE one! It just happened.
Now that everything is over, I am looking forward to continuing on with my life. My ex boyfriend and I are still in good terms. After accompanying me to the clinic and waited for almost 3 hours with me, we had sushi. Just as if it was just another day.
