Down syndrome and 41yrs old

by J

January 27, 2021

I had an abortion, it was very difficult decision. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant again I have a 3 yr old which I had him when I was 38yrs old. We are very healthy people we don’t smoke, drink alcohol or do drugs otherwise healthy. We were trying naturally to get pregnant and in less than 2 months we got pregnant. My obgyn retired and I got a new doctor which he did so much more testing than my old obgyn doctor. When I was about 12 weeks he recommended me to go to the hospital for a Nuchal ultrasound test and it came back positive he stated that 70% chance that the baby could have genetic abnormality. He wanted to do the CVS testing which is very invasive and high risk to lose the pregnancy. The next day I came back to the same hospital and perform CVS testing.

I was crying during the weekend my test was perform on a Friday and we had to wait until Monday for the results. I told my mother and she told me to pray and have positive thoughts that maybe the ultrasound test was an error and CVS test was going to be normal. On Monday me and my husband waited for the call and I got so anxious that I called the doctor. The  medical assistant in the other line told me that the test came back and he will call me back. I distracted myself with my 3yr old until I receive the call. I put my phone on speaker so my husband could hear the news. The first thing the doctor said I have some bad news your baby has trisomy 21 down syndrome and genetically there could be cognitive issues and be a still born. If you want to continue with the pregnancy we will wait for the other genetic testing to arrive.

I was in such a shock when the doctor finished I told him I will call him back for the decision. I collapse crying and my husband too. I felt so bad for my 3yr seeing us crying like someone just died. We agree to have an abortion because of the burden of taking care a disabled child. We are physical and occupational rehab health care workers and we have seen the burden of the parents and those children. I felt so guilty and upset to get the abortion but thinking about the future learning that we are in our 40s and if we died our oldest child have to be responsible for his younger siblings and won’t enjoy life because of taking care of him or her. I call my obgyn and also the doctor from the hospital and suggest an abortion clinic none of them do abortions. So they recommend me one close by my home. I called and on Christmas Eve I had my appointment.

They didn’t allow men in the building so my husband had to wait outside they gave me a paper that the procedure will last 4-5hrs do to blood work, counseling and then the procedure. I was very nervous, I never had one. When I was in the waiting area the room was full. I filled out my paperwork and then waited for my call. When they call me in I opted not to see the ultrasound because it was going to be very emotional for me. Then I had a counselor and she told me my case is different because of genetic reasons. They took my blood pressure and blood work. And put me in a room to change I to a pink gown, I waited for 2hrs until they put me in another room. And waited then they call my name and a nurse assistance told me to lay down the bed put my legs in the resting bar and lay back. Then an anesthesiologist told me he was going to give me an IV and I will be sleeping in 20 seconds. And then I saw the female doctor and she told me not to worry, I could try again with an egg donor because of my age and high risk. Then I didn’t remember anything.

When I woke up I shouted my husband’s name. And I saw myself in a room still with a gown and bad cramps. After that procedure, they asked me to cough 3 times to see the blood flow and it was normal. I went to the bathroom changed and took the elevator to the street. My husband was waiting for me. When I was in the car all I did was cry and cry. And then a relief and peace. I got home and hug my 3yr old so much. I have to be thankful for life and freedom of choice.

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