“hanging out with the wrong crowd”

by Tyler

September 5, 2018

Content Warning: rape, assault

I was raped, at age 14, by a 19 year old I thought was my friend. I was “hanging out with the wrong crowd,” but it wasn’t my fault. Many rapes and assaults happen because friends who seem fine turn out to be bad. He forced himself upon me and he got me pregnant, also leaving scar tissue that prevented me from having penetrative sex for the rest of my life, in so far as I have never had successful penetrative sex yet, nor an orgasm, and I’m 21 now.

I wasn’t ready to be a parent. I’m trans, I didn’t want to be a parent to a child born from the organs I hated so much. My baby started to die inside me, and I decided to get an abortion for the sake of both of ourselves. I miss that baby, that fetus, that I left behind in my past to save my future.

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