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I DID know better and so do You.

by Lucia

November 5, 2017

I had two abortions at the age of 27.  I got pregnant not once but twice by not one but two “bad boyfriends”.  I consider myself fortunate in this world to have even one person I could tell that I have “never regretted it” for a minute.  Now I’m telling you.

It was not a difficult decision to make and because of the courage of those who came before me I knew where to get safe abortions. I was frustrated and ashamed that I got pregnant twice at what I felt was a more mature age at the time,  “I should have known better.”  I was the same age as my mother had been when she had me. She was still emotionally immature at 27 and so was I.  I had educated myself on my own about birth control and STDs as a teenager and I had the means to use birth control and diligently avoid unwanted pregnancies during my most reckless younger years.  I was finally growing up and starting to get my life together.  I’m now a therapist with many clients who are the age that those children would have been had I been forced by some means to bring them into the world.

Most of my clients are recovering from being born to mothers or parents that were not  ready or capable of giving them the basics of what they needed to grow up without excessive emotional pain and hardship.  Had I brought those children into the world they would have needed therapy- maybe even more than I have needed it myself over the years.

I’m so grateful I had the wisdom to do what I knew was right and start graduate school that year instead of having a baby with one or two very disturbed men.  I’m so grateful that I live in a culture where I had the awareness and access to have an abortion. I worked hard to overcome drug and alcohol abuse and invite healthier more respectful men into my life. I found a wonderful life partner who values me for who I am- we are a good match and our relationship supports the hard work that we do.  We are both in professions where we try to help people live in a more just and empowered way. We decided not to have kids and it allows us to give more to others who would benefit from our skills. Life is complicated,  don’t ever doubt the choices you need to make to pursue what you know is right for yourself and others.  I DID know better and so do You.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!