Early on we found out I was pregnant, I knew exactly my dates of my cycle so when I missed one I panicked. Now, finding out was scary but then being told by a nurse how far along you are (6 weeks) – then having a scan to find out you’re still 6 weeks when you should be further along is a shock. The pregnancy was causing so much pain, I was bleeding daily, not little bits but enough to wear a pad, I was feeling physical pain throughout the early stages and I was mentally unhappy. The bleeding and pain got worse and we (together) made a decision to terminate. And whilst it wasn’t an easy decision to make – what came after was worse. Grief, guilt, relief, happiness that I wasn’t in pain myself anymore. A few months late we found out the pregnancy wasn’t viable and I had major complications ending in surgery. However, it’s a mixed emotion situation – the pain it caused was horrendous and I know now that I myself wouldn’t have been able to sustain it much longer and had suicidal thoughts. I’m happy we aborted as I got my life back, but I’m grieving for the family I feel I lost, except I can’t feel like I lost it because we aborted before knowing it wasn’t viable.

The decisions in life you make are never easy, and you’ll never know if it’s the right one. But I feel mine was – I feel the abortion gave me my life back.