4 pregnancies 3 births

by Anonymous

December 3, 2019

I was 24 years old, recently divorced after what seemed like a lifetime in a mentally abusive and unhealthy relationship and living completely independently for the very first time in life. I had 3 children running around a very tiny government assisted 2 bedroom apartment, a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a baby under 18 months. We were in the middle of a crazy custody battle when I discovered I was pregnant. The father was a single dad with 5 kids of his own going through his own messy breakup. I had little income, poor mental health, was barely starting college, and really to understand who I am. My little family was struggling to eat and stay financially afloat so it was a very clear decision from the day I found out I was pregnant. It would have been too cruel for me to bring another person into my world that had just barely began to be pieced together.

I discovered the pregnancy at 6 weeks, but it took 2 more weeks to get the appointment. I listened very carefully and talked honestly with my clinician about all the options. My body did not handle its pregnancies easily, I am prone to gestational diabetes, hypertension, and hemorrhage. So ultimately I decided the best course of action was a chemical abortion.

I took the first pill right there in the office and sat to be monitored for about an hour. This was the one moment a flash of guilt hit my conscious, sitting in that office in a room full of various stages of pregnant women with absolutely nothing to do but ponder the “what if”, but even then I knew there was no other way it could go. The process had started and there was no going back.

Almost 8 years have passed since that spring. My abortion gave me the opportunity to refocus my priorities and the motivation to get my family out of the muck. Today I am a college graduate, with 3 brilliant, creative, and amazing children, and a kind compassionate husband. My abortion provided me that, and I will be forever grateful it was an option. I honestly believe it saved my life.

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