I was on vacation when I noticed I missed my period. I didn’t take a test, I instantly knew I was pregnant. I was paralyzed with fear and uncertainty. I got home and did copious amounts of research on abortion knowing that at 19 (boyfriend was 21) there was no way we could support a baby. The shame, fear and disbelief made me deny it, this couldn’t be happening. Eventually I found the strength to say the words out loud to him. We took 3 tests knowing the outcome and I sobbed for hours.
Appointments were scarce so I made it to 22 weeks before I was able to have my procedure. This made me feel so selfish because had I taken a test sooner, I wouldn’t have gotten this far.
The abortion was a 2 day experience. My doctors were the kindest, most accepting people I could’ve had during the worst days of my life. Sitting alone in the waiting room and again in the hospital due to covid restrictions was so isolating. As soon as the abortion was over I felt so much relief and knew I had made the hardest, but best, decision of my life.
Every part of me wanted to rationalize keeping it. I wanted to be a mother, but it wasn’t the time. My boyfriend supported me every step of the way and reminds me that what I did was okay and perfectly normal. Abortion was absolutely the right choice for me and I am SO grateful I was able to get one safely. Late term abortions ARE okay and its taken me 7 months to understand that.
Anyone going through this process should know that you are not alone. It will be okay and my time to become a mother and yours will come when we are ready.
