by Stine

August 3, 2017

Things I did do:

– Realized I hadn’t had a normal period for … hmm… maybe 7 weeks?

– Didn’t think more of it, because I had a copper IUD, I was safe.

– Took a test anyway, just because, you know.

– Took a shower. Kind of panicked. Went to my boyfriend to tell him.

– Cried.

Things we did together:

– Watched a video of how fast the fetus developed, and how big it would be when I’d have the abortion.

– Considered the life of the baby that could be.

– Realized that we did indeed have the resources – financially and socially – to be able to provide for a child, and so the decision was selfish.

– Reassured ourselves that it is okay to make the choice even though it feels selfish.

– Told my parents about our situation and my decision, even though I fully knew they would’ve preferred me to make another choice.

Things that happened:

– I received nothing but love and support from my parents

– I cried. A lot. Cried when I entered the medical room for the procedure.

– I apologized to the medical personnel for my crying – “I’m sorry for creating such a bad working environment for you, I really am okay with my decision.”, she sobbed.

– I cried in the weeks after.

– I was painfully aware that I would’ve been so many months pregnant.

– I felt some sort of Survivors’ guilt.

– I celebrated the days after when I: 1) Wanted to have sex again. 2) Stopped bleeding. 3) Reached the date for the birth that never came.

Things I didn’t do:

– Regret my decision. Never.

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